1. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE GOING CRAZY.
Psycho’s are masters of manipulation. They turn everything around. They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might become paranoid. You might worry about what you wear and what you say and freak out if someone changes your plans or something unexpected happens that you will have to explain later. If you are a peaceful person, you might find yourself constantly fighting. You might explode when you get too frustrated. You feel like there is something seriously wrong with you.
2. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS.
You’re not quite sure what will set them off, but you are afraid that something you do is going to make them lose their temper… Bump into an old boyfriend at the mall? Get a job offer in another state? Agree to babysit for your sister? You might be terrified of what your partner will say or do if you tell them.
3. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE DATING DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE.
It seems like your partner is two completely different people. Like flipping a switch, he can change drastically from one extreme to the next. One day, he is caring and loving and wonderful, and the next he is hateful and raging and mean. He used to put you up on a pedestal…and now all he does is try to tear you down.
4. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE NO VOICE.
You are afraid to talk, or when you do talk you feel like you are never heard, your words are taken out of context, misunderstood, or blatantly ignored. From little things to big things, you feel like your partner never listens. You might want to go to the movies–your partner will make sure you go out to dinner instead. You might think that the Bears are the best football team–your partner will convince you that you are stupid for thinking so because they suck. You might say that you aren’t comfortable staying overnight together–your partner does so anyway. You might try to talk about how you are feeling–your partner turns everything around and tries to talk about everything you’re doing wrong.
5. YOUR PARTNER HAS NO REMORSE.
He or she might get upset–especially if you try to break up with them or say that you are leaving–however, there is no underlying remorse for hurting you. Even when they hurt you, they make you feel bad for the pain it has caused them.
6. YOUR PARTNER HAS NO GUILT
He or she might say that they are sorry if they hurt you (hit you, scream at you, cheat on you…etc.) and promise that it will never happen again, but their apology is more manipulative than sincere. They often don’t actually feel guilty about what they have done, only that they were caught.
7. YOUR PARTNER IS A WORLD-CLASS LIAR.
They lie about what they do. Who they talk to. Where they were. They lie about things they don’t need to lie about. They can look you in the eye and lie. They can swear on their life that they are not lying. If they get caught, they change their story.
8. YOUR PARTNER IS A CHAMELEON.
He or she acts one way when they are around you, but completely different around your parents, and completely different around their friends. In the beginning of a relationship they might seem like everything you ever wanted….usually this is because they are trying to act like everything you ever wanted. They change to fit whatever group they are in.
9. YOU FEEL ISOLATED AND ALONE.
Your partner finds faults with your friends or makes you feel bad or uncomfortable about any time you spend with other people. Slowly, you lose your friends until you feel like your partner is the only person you have left. You have no support group and therefore your partner gains more power.
10. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE ON A ROLLER COASTER.
Your partner cycles from mean and vicious to sweet and loving, then back again. Over and over. Up and down. Back and forth. Each time he hurts you, he apologizes and promises that it will never happen again or that he will change. You want to believe that this is possible, but the cycle keeps repeating and each time your self-esteem is chipped away at, bit by bit.
11. YOU HAVE NO CONFIDENCE OR SELF-ESTEEM.
Your partner knows your weaknesses and he goes after your most vulnerable parts, hurting you where he knows it will do the most damage. You feel bad about yourself. You feel ashamed, lost, alone, confused, numb, afraid, crazy, stupid, ugly, fat, worthless, embarrassed, unloveable, wrong.
12. YOUR PARTNER HAS A BAD REPUTATION OR A TRADITION OF “MESSY RELATIONSHIPS”.
He or she might even brag about the fact that they have left a trail of tears behind them. They might talk about cheating on an old partner, or be proud of their reputation. They might speak badly about a previous partner, claiming that their previous partner was crazy, or a b***h, or an asshole. Other people might warn you about dating your partner–if they have a track record of abuse, most likely it is only a matter of time until they abuse you.
